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MAD TOP TEN HUMOR

Top Ten Things Guys Wish Girls Knew

  1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
  2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.
  3. Birthdays, Valentines' Day and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present, again!
  4. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
  5. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
  6. Get rid of your cat. No, it's not different. It's just like every other cat.
  7. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.
  8. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot, and your dad probably is too.
  9. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
  10. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

Top Ten Things Why Being A Girl Rocks

  1. We got off the Titanic first.
  2. We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
  3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous--guys look like complete idiots in ours.
  4. We can cry and get out of speeding fines.
  5. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
  6. Taxis stop for us.
  7. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
  8. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
  9. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay.
  10. We know the truth about whether size matters.

Top 10 Signs You're From New York

  1. You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill.
  2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
  3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
  4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible.
  5. The subway makes sense.
  6. The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro.
  7. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
  8. You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price.
  9. You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple".
  10. Your door has more than three locks.

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