Fun Top Ten Lists

FUN TOP TEN LISTS

Top Ten Signs You Might Be A Goth

You pay 6 bucks for cigarettes that match your outfit
You like to play dead in public
You wake up still drunk at 3 in the afternoon with anonymous black lipstick on your face
The shade of powder you wear is called "Sheet Of Paper"
The Count was your favorite Sesame Street character as a child
You wear long, velvet coats in the middle of summer
You go to Denny's at 5 in the morning and think, "These are my people"
You think dead flowers are prettier than live ones
You refer to your age in mortal years
Your combat boots cost more than it takes to feed a third world child for two years

Top Ten Annoying Things to Do to a Model

Repeatedly ask, "What was your last name again?"
Ask her if she's going to finish that lettuce leaf.
Every week, adjust her scale to add an additional pound or two (Wait -- that's the way to "kill" a supermodel..
Consistently baffle her with multisyllabic words and compound sentences.
Force her to share a runway with a 747.
Whoopie Cushion Shoulder Pads.
Taunt her with the Pythagorean Theorem and a slice of pizza.
Follow her everywhere, mumbling, "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful."
Make her wear that loose-fitting size 2 outfit.
Constantly demand a display of her Superhuman powers.

Top 10 Good Things About Being Named George W. Bush

Read my lips: I never pay taxes
I receive courtesy calls whenever Cheney has a heart attack
I always get the Presidential Suite at Motel 6 in downtown Cleveland
After sex, my wife hums "Hail to the Chief"
Whenever I get bored, I call the Texas Department of Corrections and have them execute a guy
Last week, I used an improperly addressed Halliburton contribution to buy myself a trampoline
I've been cleaning up on Denny's "Presidents Eat Free" promotion
Amusing late night phone calls from a drunk Tony Blair
People are pleasantly surprised that I'm not an idiot
The President offered me ten grand for a copy of my military records.