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Top
Ten Things To Do In A Public Pool
- Stand
on top of the high board and say you won't come down until
your demands are met.
- Tell
the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you
have seen at least 15 people drown today.
- Ask
people if they have seen your pet shark.
- Sit
in the baby pool and play with the toys.
- Take
a flutter board and pretend you can't swim.
- Ask
an attractive lifeguard to practise CPR on you.
- Swim
near a stranger and go ''Dammit I knew I shouldn't have had
watermelon before I came here.''
- Insist
that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool.
- Scream
as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a
diving board.
- Ask
a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed.
Top
Ten Things Why Star Wars Is Better Than Titanic.
- Yoda
could use the Force to lift Titanic out of the water.
- Leia
is a princess, a senator, a freedom fighter, and Jedi material;
Rose is just marriage bait.
- Ewoks
throw better parties than either first class or steerage.
-
Said bug-eyed amphibious Admiral manages NOT to lose his ship.
-
We know Cal is the bad guy because he sneers at the poor and
treats his fiancee like property. We know Darth Vader is the
bad guy because he strangles people and blows up planets for
fun.
-
Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba
the Hutt.
- There
are always enough escape pods in Star Wars .
- If
Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship,
he would use the Force to get the key.
- Han
Solo would've steered clear of that stinkin' iceberg!
- We
knew the boat was gonna sink. But who could've anticipated,
"Luke....I am your father."?
Top
Ten Things To Make People Shut You Up
-
Echo yourself(example: How are you today..day..ay..ay..).
- Sing
annoying songs.
- Talk
about something in great detail to someone who has no clue
what the hell you're talking about.
- Laugh
like a Maniac for no particular reason
- Yell
to a friend across the theater in the middle of a movie.
- Jump
from topic to topic with no warning.
- Talk
in rhyme. Don't stop when asked to.
- Sing
WAY off key.
- Hold
up a gerbil/mouse, talk in a squeaky voice and pretend that
you are the gerbil/mouse.
- Make
a face. Hold it that way. People tell you to shut up even
though you said nothing.
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