WITTY TOP TEN HUMOR

Top Ten Attorney Rules of Engagement:

1. Any person with a valid Texas hunting license may harvest attorneys.
2. The taking of attorneys with traps or deadfalls is permitted. The use of currency as bait is prohibited.
3. The killing of attorneys with a vehicle is prohibited. If accidentally struck, remove roadkill to roadside and proceed to nearest car wash.
4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a helicopter or other aircraft.
5. It shall be unlawful to shout, "whiplash," "ambulance!" or, "Free Perrier!" for the purposes of trapping attorneys.
6. It shall be unlawful to use cocaine, young boys, $100 bills, prostitutes, or vehicle accidents to attract attorneys.
7. It shall be unlawful to hunt attorneys within 200 yards of whorehouses, health spas, gay bars, ambulances, or hospitals.
8. If an attorney is elected to government office, there will be a $500 bounty on the pelt.
9. Stuffed or mounted attorneys must have a state health department inspection for AIDS, rabies, and vermin.
10. It shall be illegal for a hunter to disquise himself as a reporter, drug dealer, pimp, female law clerk, sheep, accident victim, bookie, or tax accountant for the purposes of hunting attorneys

Top Ten Philosophies

1. American Express calls and says; "Definitely leave home without it."
2. Your idea of a 7 course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
3. You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
4. You give blood everyday, just for the orange juice.
5. You finally clean your house, hoping to find loose change.
6. McDonalds supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
7. Sally Struthers sends you food.
8. You go back for seconds at communion.
9. You've rolled so many pennies, you've formed a psychic bond with Abe Lincoln.
10. You rob Peter and then you rob Paul
    

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