WITTY CELEBRITY HUMOR

Q.Whats ET short for?
A.Because he's got little legs.

Q: whats the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
A: Christopher Walken

Celebrity Quotes

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships." (Sharon Stone)

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is." (Barbara Bush, Former US First Lady)

"Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word , meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." (Robin Williams)

"Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house." (Rod Stewart)

"There are only two reasons to sit in the back row of an airplane: Either you have diarrhea, or you're eager to meet people who do." (Henry Kissinger)

"My girlfriend always laughs during sex no matter what she's reading." (Steve Jobs, Founder: Apple Computer)

"My cousin just died. He was only 19. He got stung by a bee, the natural enemy of a tightrope walker." (Dan Rather, News anchorman)

"I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said, "Thyroid problem?" (Arnold Schwartzenegger)

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." (Tiger Woods)