SHORT REDNECK JOKES

What's the difference between a northern girl and a southern girl?
A northern girl says you can and a southern girl says you all can.

How's a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.

What do rednecks call ductape?
Chrome.

What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck?
The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.

What's the difference between a Yankee zoo and a Redneck zoo?
On the cage in a Yankee zoo, it will have the name of the animal and the scientific name in Latin. A Southern zoo will have the name of the animal and a recipe.

Did you hear about the redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow?
She can't touch it till she's fourteen.

What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck?
The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved.

What's the most popular pick up line in Arkansas?
Nice tooth!

Did you hear about the new 3 million dollar Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets 3 dollars a year for a million years.

What do a divorce in Tennessee, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody is fixin' to lose them a house trailer.

Why do folks from Tennessee go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
17 and under are not admitted.

What do you get when you have 32 Tennesseeians in the same room?
A full set of teeth.

Why did O.J. Simpson want to move the Tennessee?
Everyone there has the same DNA.

Did you hear that the Governors mansion in Tennessee burned down?
Almost took out the whole trailer park.

Best bar pick-up line in Kentucky: "Hey, you don't sweat much for a fat broad."

How can you tell if a redneck is married?
There is tobacco spit stains on both sides of his pickup truck.

What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?
In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a misdemeanor.

What is a Redneck's defense in court?
"Honest your Honor, I was just helping the sheep over the fence."

Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in West Virginia to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!

What do they call "Hee Haw" in Arkansas?
A documentary.

What do they call it in Kentucky?
"Life Styles of the Rich and Famous."

How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?
Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.