Online Top Ten Lists

ONLINE TOP TEN LISTS

Top Ten Television Shows in Iraq

1. "Husseinfeld"

2. "Mad About Everything"

3. "U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"

4. "Suddenly Sanctions"

5. "Allah McBeal"

6. "Wheel of Fortune and Terror"

7. "Achmed's Creek"

8. "Iraq's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"

9. "Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"

10. "Just Shoot Me"

Top Ten Signs You're In California

1. The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.

2. You were born somewhere else.

3. You know how to eat an artichoke.

4. The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.

5. Your car has bulletproof windows.

6. Left is right and right is wrong.

7. Your monthly house payments exceed your annual income.

8. Your mouse has only one ball.

9. You need a new TV, you can run down to the local riot and pick one up.

10. You dive under a desk whenever a large truck goes by.

Top Ten Things To Do While Giving Blood

10. Watch the bag fill.

9. Hyperventilate.

8. Pull the tube out of the bag and drink from it.

7. Race to see who fills their bag first (requires two or more people).

6. Puncture the bag near the top and see whether they pull the needle out of your arm before the blood squirts out.

5. While they're not looking, substitute a bag of orange liquid and complain they gave you too much Tang.

4. Insist that you want to give 2 pints.

3. Faint.

2. Tell them you saw the bag twitch.

1. Yell, "Hey, you used that needle on the last guy!"