Hilarious Top Ten Lists

HILARIOUS TOP TEN LISTS

Top Ten Signs Your Amish Teenager Is In Trouble

10. Sometimes stays in bed until after 5 a.m.

9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "KISS" makeup.

7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh."

6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."

5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to rap."

4. You come upon his secret stash of colored socks.

3. Uses slang expression, "Talk to the hand, 'cause the beard ain't listening."

2. Was recently pulled over for driving under the influence of cottage cheese.

1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.

Top 10 Ways to Tell that You're a New Dad

10) Getting six hours of sleep is a privilege.

9) The sentence, "Honey, could you take his foot out of my pocket?" sounds normal.

8) You are used to doing everything one-handed.

7) The thought of your mother-in-law coming over for a few hours is a pleasant one.

6) The list of bodily fluids that disgust you has shortened, possibly to zero.

5) Your idea of romance is handholding.

4) You answer the question "How are you?" with "We're fine."

3) You decide whether a shirt is wearable not based on sweatiness, but based on how well the spit-up stains match the shirt's main color.

2) You see a slender teenage girl walking down your street, and you think, "Hey, I wonder if I could interest her in...babysitting?"

1) It takes you two months to write and send out a simple Top-10-style joke email.

Top Ten Signs You Might Be a Frog

1. You get mad when you don't find a fly in your soup.

2. You buy out the supply of wart removal cream in your drugstore constantly.

3. French chefs are eyeing your legs and appear to be following you

4. Bug lamps appear to you as a curse.

5. On applications, you list 'Pond' as your home address.

6. Kermit is your idol.

7. You get mad whenever Miss Piggy makes a pass at Kermit.

8. Have seen the movie 'The Fly' at least ten times

9. You live in fear that someday you will wind up in a child's aquarium.

10. France is the evil empire to you