Redneck
Computer Terms
"Hard
drive"
Trying
to climb a steep, muddy hill with 3 flat tires and pulling a
trailer load of fertilizer.
"Keyboard"
1.
Place to hang your truck keys.
2. Whare you're supposed to put da keys so da wife can find
'em. (from NetDummy Humor)
"Window"
Place
in the truck to hang your guns.
"Floppy"
When
you run out of Polygrip.
"Modem"
1.
How you got rid of your dandelions.
2. What you did to da hay fields last July. (from NetDummy Humor)
"ROM"
Delicious
when you mix it with coca cola.
"Byte"
First
word in a kiss-off phrase.
"Reboot"
What
you do when the first pair gets covered with barnyard stuff.
"Network"
Activity
meant to provide bait for your trot line.
"Mouse"
1.
Fuzzy, soft thing you stuff in your beer bottle in order to
get a free case.
2. What leaves those little turds in da cupboard.
"LAN"
To
borrow as in, "Hey Delbert! LAN me yore truck."
"Cursor"
What
some guys do when they are mad at their wife and/or girlfriend.
"Bit"
A
wager as in, "I bit you can't spit that watermelon seed
across the porch longways."
"Digital
Control"
What
yore fingers do on the TV remote.
"Packet"
What
you do to a suitcase or Wal-Mart bag before a trip.
"Tab"
The
amount of money you owe the bartender out of your next paycheck.
"Space
bar"
Where
aliens and astronauts go when they are thirsty.
"Backspace"
The
place in back of front seat of the car where you keep a case
of beer.
"Alt"
Form
of verb "be" like, "I alt be gone now."
"Delete"
The
lighter object like, "Don't gimmy the heavy one, gimmy
the delete one."
"My
Briefcase"
What
you put all your ol' stuff in when "she" gets mad
at you.
"Shift"
What
you must do when blue lights come on.
"Disc"
What
you do before you plow, to level the ground.
"Ram"
1.
Dodge pick up truck.
2. Da hydraulic thing that makes da woodsplitter work.
"Rom"
Wander:
"Wher' ya goin?" "Ah dunnow. Recon I'll jus rom
round"
"Refresh"
Mix
another Jack Daniels and 7.
"Browser"
Bowser's
name when you're drunk.
"Web"
DUH?
should be obvious. What spiders make, tickles yer butt when
you gotta go while in the woods.
"Edit"
Past
tense of "eat" "Wher'd that leftover possum belly
go?" " You edit afore you passed out las nite.
"Gig"
Frogging
implement; frog gig. Used while air boating. A bamboo, or fiberglass
pole with straightened fish hooks on the business end for spearing
frogs.
"Internet"
Where
her fish were when she caught em ( In er net).
"Buddy
list"
Names
and phone numbers on the inside wall of the public outhouse
above the hole.
"Tab"
Anceint
soft drink, used to mix low calorie drinks with white lightnin.
"Computer
Chips"
What
you have when your computer takes a dump, sorta like cow chips.
"Shift"
What
you do to get that truck to go.
"Ins"
To
Enter, as in, "Ins ya go, outs you go".
"Scanner"
1.
What you do to a good lookin' woman.
2. What you listen to the police band on.
"Log
On"
Making
da wood stove hotter.
"Log
Off "
Don't
add wood.
"Monitor"
1.
Keep an eye on da wood stove.
2. What you do when you suspect your wife of cheatin.
"Megahertz"
When
a big log drops on your bare foot in da morning.
"Floppy
Disk"
What
you get from piling too much wood.
"Drive"
Getting
home during most of the winter in Kentucky.
"Prompt"
What
you wish da mail was during the snow season.
"Enter"
Come
on in.
"Windows"
What
you shut when it gets 10 below.
"Screen"
What
is a must during black fly season.
"Chip"
What
you munch during Wildcat's games.
"Microchip"
What's
left in da bag when da chips are gone.
"Dot
Matrix"
Eino
Matrix's wife.
"Laptop"
Where
da grandkids sit.
"Software"
Them
plastic picnic utensils, eh?.
"Mainframe"
Da
part of da sauna that holds up da roof.
"Port"
Where
da commercial fishin boats dock.
"Random
Access Memory"
Whan
you can't remember how much you spent on da new deer rifle when
Wifee asks about it.
"Fonts"
That
really cool guy from the show, Happy Days.
"Laptop"
Where
the stripper sits.
© Copyright 2024 Joke-Joke. All rights reserved.
Home |
Blonde Jokes |
Bar Jokes |
Redneck Jokes |
Dirty Jokes |
Celebrity Jokes |
Top Ten Lists
|