10
Things You'll Never Hear At A Nascar Race
- "None
for me, thanks. That Skoal will do a number on your teeth."
- "Hey,
shut up! I can't hear the race."
- "Dating
your own sister? Man, that's sick!"
- "Oh
my, this is a splendid Merlot!"
- "Hey,
you with the large chest. Out of the way! We're trying to
watch a race here!"
- "Chesterton,
be a good lad and retrieve the Wall Street Journal from my
atache case."
- "What
a coincidence, Hank. All my friends are boycotting Hooters,
too!"
- "These
are even better seats than we had for the Lionel Richie concert!"
- "Whew!
No more beer for me, fellas."
- "And
now... Singing our National Anthem, international recording
artist, Boy George!"
Top
Ten Games for The Elderly
-
Sag, You're it
- Pin
the Toupee on the bald guy.
- 20
questions shouted into your good ear.
- Kick
the bucket
- Red
Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
- Doc
Goose.
- Simon
says something incoherent.
- Hide
and go pee.
- Spin
the Bottle of Mylanta
- Musical
recliners.
The
Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy
- Keeps
trying to sell you extra teeth.
- His
restrooms are labeled "Bleeders" and "Non-Bleeders"
- Pumps
gas into the waiting room in advance.
- Does
an extensive search for cavities...dental and body.
- He...ummm..licks
his tools clean.
- Gets
mad when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed line.
- When
you come to from being under the gas, he's quick to insist
that you wore your pants backwards when you came into his
office.
- Wears
a necklace made of human teeth.
- Has
a grindstone in the office for his tools.
- Insists
that a Novacaine shot is something that he'll buy you at a
bar if you just go out with him.
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