ONLINE CELEBRITY JOKES

Three people were facing the firing squad: Hussein, Bin Laden, and Bush. Hussein was first and just as the squad is about to fire, he screams "EARTHQUAKE!" the firing squad hides and Hussein runs away. Next, Bin Laden comes along and just as the firing squad is about to fire, he screams "TORNADO!" the firing squad hides and Bin Laden runs away. Last is Bush and he thinks what to say so he can get away finally he thinks of something and as the firing sqaud is about to fire, Bush screams "FIRE!"

Bill Clinton was in an airplane and he told to his friend: "You know, if a throw this 1000 bill, i could make very happy 1 man".
His friend told him:"yes, but if you drop 2 bills of 500 you could make happy 2 guys".

One man who was listening all told them:"thats true, but if I throw you both, i could make happy all the nation".

Britney Spears, Shaggy and Pink went on a hoilday and shared a hotel room with each other.

One night before going to sleep they heard someone do a fart.

Pink said: You make me sick,

Shaggy said: It wasn't me

and Britney spears said: OOps i did it again

Obi Tu

If Obi Wan Had another Son, of what name would he bear it?

Obie Trice

One day, Al Gore, George W and Ralph Nader were eating lunch at a restaurant.

They paid the check, then went to the bathroom.

On their way in, an attendant told them that the mirror in the bathroom would hold you until you said something if you looked at it, and if you told the truth you would get a billion dollars. But if you lied, youd be trapped in the mirror forever.

Ralph finished first, and looked at the mirror. Trapped, he said "i think i am the smartest one in this bathroom" and he got a billion dollars. Then Al Gore looked at the mirror and said, "i think i have the biggest ego in this bathroom" and he got a billion dollars. Then George looked at the mirror and siad, "i think-" and FWOOSH! he was trapped in the mirror.

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work.

One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

"I have and idea, boss," his chauffeur said. "I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you."

Einstein laughed loudly and said, "Why not? Let's do it!"

When they arrive at the dinner, Einstein donned the chauffeur's cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The chauffeur gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein's speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody's fool.

Without missing a beat, the chauffeur fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, "Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my chauffeur, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me."

Three midgets walk into a library. The first one claims that he has the smallest hands in the world. The second claims that he has the smallest feet in the world. The third claims that his penis is the smallest in the world.
So each one checks the Guiness Book of World Records. The first comes back and is happy: "I have the smallest hands in the world." The second comes back and is also happy: "I have the smallest feet in the world." The third midget comes back and is pissed: "Who's Carl Givens?"