DUMB BLONDE JOKES

Q: What happened to the blonde that was tap dancing?
A: She fell in the sink.

Q: How do you kill a blonde?
A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?
A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A: An interpreter.

Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A: A mental block.

Q: Why do blondes have more fun?
A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.

Q: How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: "What's a light bulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A: A dope ring.

Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill.
Who picks it up?
A1: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
A2: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?
A: To see what was on the other side.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?
A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.

Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Don't tell her to swallow.
A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

Q: What's the blonde's cheer?
A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well..
I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..."

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change.

Q: How does a blonde moon walk?
A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor!

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.

Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."

Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.

Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.

Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper.

Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A1: So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: So they don't leave trails, like little snails.

Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.

Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".

Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by "the fuzz"?
A: "No. But I've been swung around by the tits."

Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!

Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
A: Spot.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group?
A: Air Supply.

Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A: The back of her head.

Q: Why do blondes drive VW's?
A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!

Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings?
A: Tell them a joke on Friday night!

Q: Why did God create blondes?
A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge.

Q: Why did God create brunettes?
A: Neither could the blondes.

Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to work or coming home.

Q: What's black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling?
A: A blonde electrician.

Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short?
A1: So brunettes can remember them.
A2: Because blondes are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit.
A3: So men can understand them.

Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
A1: A golden retriever.
A2: A labrador.
A3: An indicator of a really bad hangover.

Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words?
A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Q: Why do blondes have periods?
A: They deserve them.

Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period?
A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her?

Q: Why are blondes like corn flakes?
A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good.

Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor?
A: By the ears.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car?
A: She saw "911" and thought it was a Porsche.

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies?
A: One's a bunch a cunning runts.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal?
A: One's a busy ditch.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.

Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you?
A: Tell her she's pregnant.
Q2: What will she ask you?
A2: "Is it mine?"

Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A: An air bag.

Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch?
A: To turn the blinker off.

Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach?
A: So her male would get delivered to the right box.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater?
A: They went to see "Closed for the Winter".

Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment?
A: She can't say "No".

Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican?
A: Retardo.

Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A: A visitor.

Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor?
A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period.

Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head?
A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it!

Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station?
A: The Air Pump!

Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence?
A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear!

Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.

Q: Did you here about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?

Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off.

Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)

Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!

Q: What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: One's a phony buck.

Q: What's the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.

Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.

Q: Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?
A: She was having sunny periods.